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328 Hilarious Octopus Jokes to Keep You Octopi’d

As Carl Sagan, the renowned astrophysicist, once mused, “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”

Enter the curious world of octopus jokes—a blend of wit and whimsy that has captivated minds across centuries.

Studies from Harvard University emphasize the power of humor in enhancing social bonds and relieving stress.

In this compendium, we traverse a spectrum of comedic marvels—be it rib-tickling one-liners, meticulously crafted puns, or family-friendly jests.

Whether you seek intellectual wordplay or playful jests, this curated assortment of jokes about octopus caters to all ages and tastes, ensuring a chuckle for every reader.

Best Octopus Jokes

Experience peak cephalopod humor. The top-tier selection promises maximum amusement, ensuring constant laughter with the finest octopus jokes for endless entertainment.

What sea creatures say hello sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.


What do octopus knights wear?
A coat of arms.


What story do octopus parents read to their kids?
Octopuss in boots


What type of cat has eight legs and loves to swim?
An octopussy.


What has 72 arms and catches flies?
An octopus baseball team.


How do you know the bathroom is in use when you are at an octopus party?
The sign on the door says “Octopied.”


How do we know that octopuses can’t commit crimes?
They don’t have a bad bone in their bodies. (octopus have no bones)


What would be good about crossing a turkey with an octopus?
Everyone would get a drumstick on Thanksgiving.


What do you call an octopus musician?
A rocktopus


Where do female sea creatures keep their money?
In their octo-purse.


What do you call good characteristics of an octopus?
It’s octo-pluses.


What did the doctor check on his octopus patient?
His octo-pulse.


What did the octopus use to make jelly?
From ocean currants.


What is a play on words among sea creatures?
Octo-puns.


What looks like half an octopus?
The other half?


How do young fish get to school?
By octobus.


When are all octopuses born?
October!


What do you call a job for an octopus?
It’s octopation


What do you call an octopus with 2 arms?
A Platypus


What do you call an octopus who thinks the glass if always half full?
An octomist.


How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles


What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octo-pi.


What is a gathering of octopus called?
Octo-posse.


What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)


How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.


What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.


Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because the octopus was well armed.


What do you call a pie made by an octopus?
Octopie.


What type of keyboard does an octopus use?
SQWERTY.


What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert?
I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand…


What do you call a group of 8 cats?
Octopus.

What do you call an octopus with no tentacles?
Bob.

What is an octopus’s favorite band?
Ink Floyd.


What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
What’s Kraken!!!!


How do you make an octopus jolly?
Turn him into cala-merry.


What do you call a relaxed octopus?
A calm-ari!


Did you hear about the electrician who hired an Octopus?
Because many hands make light work.


What do you call a Mexican octopus dish?
Tacoyaki.


Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.


What do you call a flying octopus?
An octo-copter.


What is the biggest danger for a baby octopus?
Squid-nappers!


Why is the octopus such a good cook?
Because he’s a chef-alopod!


What is an octopus’s favourite game?
Squidditch!


What is an octopus’s favourite food?
Ten-tacos!


Where does an octopus sleep?
On the seabed!


Where does an octopus go to sing?
The choral reef!


Where does the octopus go to get an operation done?
To the sturgeon!


Why didn’t the octopus fight the shark?
Because he was spineless.


Why does an octopus make a great drill sergeant?
Because it’s arm-y.


What do you call an affectionate octopus?
A cuddle fish.


What did the doctor say to the obese octopus?
You need to go on a low-crab diet.

Funny Octopus Jokes

For instant laughs, indulge in uproarious octopus humor. These jokes deliver quick, delightful giggles, brightening your day with witty punchlines and playful humor.

What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
I-tentacle.


How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten tickles!


Of course it only has eight of those.
So the first two were test tickles!


Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will “punch” a fish for no reason other than spite.
That’s called Toxic Molluskulinity.


Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?
Because he knew the octopus was well armed.


How do you know when an octopus has diarrhea?
It leaves squid-marks.


What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle?
Octopus Prime.


Interviewer: So what makes you think you’d be a good waiter here?
Octopus: I just really feel like I could bring a lot to the table.
Octopus 1: “What should I do if I can’t swim?”
Octopus 2: “Use ink if you can’t float.”


What do you call someone with eight pimples?
An octopus.


I tickled my pet octopus nine times but he didn’t laugh.
I guess he needs ten tickles.


Doctor Octopus robbed a bank this morning.
He didn’t have a gun, but he was well armed.


What does a shoe call an octopus?
A socktopus.


Did you hear about the octopus that played football?
He had ten tackles.


Why do people hate camping with octopuses?
Tent-tickles.


Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles?
Just squidding!


An octopus was filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop filming.
They were experiencing tentacle difficulties.


What do you get when you cross a cat with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.


What was wrong with the busy octopus?
Nothing, he was just octopi’d.


What did the octopus say to the fox?
“What are you doing in the ocean?”


What does the boss octopus say before work?
Let’s get kraken.


A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the army.
The octopus says, “No thanks, I’m army enough as it is.”


An octopus was killed in a shootout last week.
Police say he was heavily armed.


Why was the Mexican octopus angry at the shark?
Because he ate his ten tacos.

Hilarious Octopus Jokes

Prepare for uncontrollable laughter. Dive into a compilation of side-splitting octopus jokes, each line bursting with rib-tickling hilarity, promising a riot of amusement in every joke.

Why did the octopus refuse to share its food?
Because it was too shellfish.


What did the octopus say to the crab?
“I’ve got my eye on you!”


How do you know if an octopus is good at playing cards?
It has a great poker face.


What did the octopus say to the other octopus when they met for the first time?
“Nice to tentacle you!”


Why was the octopus expelled from school?
It was caught with eight arms.


What do you call an octopus with ten arms?
An octupus!


Why do octopuses make good detectives?
They have lots of tentacles to investigate with.


What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow?
An animal that can milk itself!


Why don’t octopuses like to wear shoes?
They prefer to go barefoot.


What did the octopus say to the chef?
“I’ll have mine calamari-style, please.”


Why don’t octopuses like to share their toys?
They’re too squid-ish.


What do you call an octopus that can play the piano?
An Octo-pianist.


What do you call an octopus that loves to dance?
A disco-pus.


Why don’t octopuses like to watch horror movies?
They’re too tenta-cruel.


What did the octopus say when it was asked about its favorite subject in school?
“I love tenta-cle math!”


Why did the octopus get a ticket?
It was caught speeding in a school zone.


What do you call an octopus with a great sense of humor?
A jocularpus.


Why did the octopus start a business?
It wanted to make some extra krill.


What do you call an octopus that’s a great dancer?
A salsa-pus.


Why did the octopus start playing the drums?
It wanted to make some octo-beats.


Why did the octopus get a job as a plumber?
It was good at unclogging pipes with its tentacles.


What do you call an octopus that’s always in a bad mood?
A grumpus.


Why did the octopus go on a diet?
It wanted to get rid of its tentacle-rolls.


What do you call an octopus that’s always forgetful?
A memory-less.


Why did the octopus want to be an actor?
It wanted to show off its tentacle-ents.

Short Octopus Jokes

Quick yet amusing octopus humor awaits. Get instant smiles with succinct jests, delivering immediate amusement without sacrificing the joy of a good laugh.

What do you call an octopus that only has 7 legs?
Almost octopus!


Why was the octopus asked to leave the restaurant?
He was getting a little tentacle.


What do you get if you cross an octopus with a cowboy?
An octowboy!


Why don’t octopuses play well with others?
They’re pretty octo-dependent.


How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.


What do you call an octopus who takes up lots of room?
Occu-pie.


What do you call an octopus that lives in your nose?
A snot-topus!



What musical instrument does an octopus play?
Octo-bass!


Why don’t octopuses make good comedians?
Their jokes don’t have enough tentacularity.


How does an octopus greet its friends?
With tentacles wide open!


What’s an octopus’s favorite hobby?
Kraken jokes!


How does an octopus drink coffee?
With tentaclecino!


What do you call an angry octopus?
Frustrated!


Why don’t octopuses like to share?
They’re just a little shellfish.


What do you call an octopus that weighs 400 pounds?
Obese!


What do you call an octopus with 8 bad eyes?
A blighty!


What do you call an octopus that only eats vegetables?
Octovegan!


Why was the octopus hungry?
He only had seven legs to eat with!


What do you call an octopus who works out?
Octo-fit!


Why don’t octopuses tell knock knock jokes?
Because they can just come in uninvited.


What do you call an octopus who lovesmusic?
DJ Octoprime!


What do you call an octopus with a fancy hat?
Sir Octopus!


What do you call an octopus in a suit?
Profesh!


What’s an octopus’s least favorite drink?
Squidka!


What did the octopus say when he won the lottery?
I can’t be-reef it!


What do octopuses serve at birthday parties?
Sucker punch!


Why don’t octopuses date lobsters?
They’re shellfish!


Did you hear about the shy octopus?
He wanted to be a hermit crab!


What do you call an octopus who studies hard?
An octo-nerd!


Why are octopuses great crime fighters?
They can get a tight grip on criminals.


What do you call an octopus in a library?
A booktopus!


What do you call an octopus in a baseball game?
A tentacle pitcher!


What do you call an octopus that does magic?
Houdini-pus!


Why are octopuses so smart?
They’re ceph-alopods!


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of Apple device?
The iSuck!


How does an octopus stay in touch?
Tentacle to tentacle.


What do you call an octopus from Canada?
An eh-ctopus!


What happens when an octopus falls in love?
She gets suckers in her stomach!


What did the octopus say to his crush?
I’m really into you!


Why don’t octopuses play music in bands?
They only know how to play solo.


What do you call an octopus who isn’t shy?
Outgoing and tentacled!


What do you call an octopus at the gym?
A mussel-pus!


Why don’t octopuses eat before bed?
Because it gives them nightmares!


What happens when two octopuses fall in love?
They get arms around each other!


Why couldn’t the octopus compete in the marathon?
He only had two legs!


What did the waiter say to the octopus?
I hope our service sucker-ed you in!


How does an octopus lock its door?
With a pad-suckle!

Octopus Jokes One Liners

Experience humor’s punch in one-liners. These sharp, witty quips deliver instant amusement, ensuring quick bursts of laughter with concise comedic brilliance.

What do you call an octopus that’s always complaining? A grumpy cephalopod.


What do you call an octopus with a bad attitude? A grouchtopus.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of food? Ink-credibly good sushi.


What do you call an octopus that’s always getting lost? A wayward cephalopod.


Why did the octopus get a job as a bank robber? Because he had eight arms and could hold eight guns.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of sport? Squidditch.


What do you call an octopus that’s always bragging? A tentacular show-off.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of game? Twister.


Why did the octopus get arrested? Because he was caught with eight arms full of stolen goods.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of movie? The Tenta-Claus Chronicles.


What do you call an octopus that’s always late? A tardy cephalopod.


Why did the octopus get a divorce? Because he was always getting tentacles in his wife’s business.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of vacation? A trip to the inky blue sea.


What do you call an octopus that’s always hungry? A gluttonous cephalopod.


Why did the octopus get fired from his job? Because he was always inking up the boss’s office.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of music genre? Eight-bit.


What do you call an octopus that’s always getting in trouble? A mischievous cephalopod.


Why did the octopus get a tattoo? Because he wanted to be more tentacle-tasty.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of food delivery service? Octo-DoorDash.


What do you call an octopus that’s always telling jokes? A tenta-cubular comedian.


Why did the octopus get a pet shark? Because he wanted a friend who was always down for a tentacle fight.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of social media platform? Octo-Twitter.


What do you call an octopus that’s always trying to be the center of attention? A cephalopod diva.


Why did the octopus get a new car? Because he wanted to be more tenta-cool.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of fashion accessory? A tentacle cuff.


What do you call an octopus that’s always telling the truth? A tena-culous witness.


Why did the octopus become a lawyer? Because he wanted to defend the rights of all cephalopods.


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of book? The Octo-Puss Who Lost Its Tentacles.


What do you call an octopus that’s always trying to save the world? A cephalopod superhero.

Clean Octopus Jokes

Share wholesome fun. Enjoy family-friendly octopus humor, delivering laughter without boundaries. These clean jokes offer joy for all ages, perfect for sharing and smiles.

Why don’t octopuses ever get into arguments?
Because they’re experts at avoiding ink-cidents!


What’s an octopus’s favorite game?
Squid and seek!


What’s an octopus’s favorite musical instrument?
The octo-piano!


Why did the octopus become a stand-up comedian?
Because it had eight great arms for telling jokes!


What’s an octopus’s favorite dance?
The eight-step!


Why did the octopus bring a chair to the ocean?
Because it wanted to sit-tentacool!


What’s an octopus’s favorite subject in school?
Ink-linguistics!


How do octopuses communicate?
With octo-pus signals!


Why did the octopus blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of movie?
Anything with lots of tenta-climaxes!


Why was the octopus a great musician?
It had many arms and was always in-tune!


How do octopuses settle disputes?
They arm-wrestle!


What did one octopus say to the other?
“I’m a sucker for your friendship!”


What’s an octopus’s favorite TV show?
“Tentaclevision”!


How does an octopus express love?
With hugs and kisses from all eight arms!


What did the octopus say to the shrimp?
“Stop being so shellfish!”


Why did the octopus become a chef?
Because it was great at handling multiple dishes!


What’s an octopus’s favorite candy?
Gummy squids!


How does an octopus apologize?
It says, “I’m sorry for being a little too in-tentacle!”


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of comedy?
Slap-tentacle!


Why don’t octopuses need to play hide and seek?
Because they’re already masters of ink-visiblility!


What’s an octopus’s favorite sport?
Squash!


Why did the octopus start a band?
Because it had a great sense of “suction”!


What did one octopus say to another during an argument?
“Let’s not get too tangled up in this!”


How many octopuses does it take to change a lightbulb?
None – they prefer the deep-sea ambiance!


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of book?
Anything with a good gripping story!


Why did the octopus bring a pencil to the sea?
To draw some ink-spiration!


What’s an octopus’s favorite game show?
“Wheel of Tentacles”!


What’s an octopus’s favorite holiday?
Ink-dependence Day!


What do you call an octopus that can sing?
An octo-pella!


Why did the octopus become a gardener?
Because it was great at tenta-cultivating!


What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?
An ink-redible milkshake!


What did the octopus say to the shrimp who stole its lunch?
“You’re in hot water now!”


Why did the octopus bring a map to the ocean?
Because it wanted to find its way around the seafood!


What’s an octopus’s favorite kind of party?
A tentacle party – it’s always a suction!


How does an octopus go into battle?
Well-armed and ink-sured!


What’s an octopus’s favorite social media platform?
Insta-ink-gram!


Why did the octopus bring a suitcase to the ocean?
It wanted to have an ink-redible vacation!


What’s an octopus’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Ink-credible!


Why did the octopus become a detective?
Because it was great at ink-vestigations!


What do you call an octopus magician?
An ink-credible illusionist!


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of sandwich?
Anything with tenta-cles!


Why did the octopus start a fashion line?
Because it had a flair for tenta-styling!


What did one octopus say to the other during a race?
“You’re going to need to be faster if you want to stay ahead of the ink!”


What’s an octopus’s favorite dance move?
The eight-step shuffle!


How does an octopus make decisions?
It takes a vote with all eight arms!


Why did the octopus start a blog?
Because it had ink-redible stories to share!


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good beat and lots of tentacles!


Why did the octopus become a lifeguard?
Because it had a knack for tenta-rescue!


What’s an octopus’s favorite game console?
The Play-Station Tentacle!


Why did the octopus become a comedian?
Because it had a great sense of “squidicule”!


What’s an octopus’s favorite planet?
Neptune – it has the best ink-tensity!


Why did the octopus go to therapy?
It had too many ink-ternal issues!


What did one octopus say to the other at the party?
“Let’s make this celebration tentacool!”


Why did the octopus open a bakery?
Because it kneaded the dough with all eight arms!


What’s an octopus’s favorite app?
Inktagram!


Why did the octopus become a scientist?
Because it had a natural ink-lination for research!


Why did the octopus bring a ladder to the ocean?
To reach new depths in its life!


What’s an octopus’s favorite board game?
Eight-ball!


Why did the octopus start a rock band?
Because it had a great sense of “tentacool”!


What did the octopus say to the clam?
“Quit being so shellfish and share your pearls of wisdom!”


Why did the octopus become a DJ?
Because it had the best “tenta-spin” skills!


What’s an octopus’s favorite type of car?
A Volkswagen Beetle – it’s compact and tentacool!

Dirty Octopus Jokes

Mature humor, daring and bold. Dive into adult-themed octopus jokes for a risqué laugh. These jests promise a more adventurous chuckle for those seeking daring humor.

Chef: “How about you get to work on making the octopus balls (Takoyaki).”
Me: “Sounds good, let’s get Kraken”


An octopus walks into a bar with a set of bagpipes.
The barman asks, “what are you going to do with those?”
The octopus replies, “well, once I get its pyjamas off, I’m gonna fuck it”


What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?
Nice pajamas. Wanna fuck?

Octopus Jokes for Adults

Tailored laughs for grown-ups. Enjoy jokes designed for mature sensibilities, delivering witty amusement that resonates with an adult audience for hearty chuckles.

Why did the crocodile go to the bar?
To have a drink and not be the only reptile there.


Why did the crocodile cross the road?
To get to the other side… of the bar.


What do you call a crocodile with a bad memory?
A forgetful fill-in-the-blank.


Why did the crocodile go to therapy?
To work through his anxiety about being a predator.


How does a crocodile make a good first impression?
With a last impression.


Why did the crocodile get kicked out of the movie theater?
For snapping too many pictures during the film.


What do you call a crocodile with a six-pack?
A beer belly biter.


Why did the crocodile go to the gym?
To get in shape for swimsuit season.


How did the crocodile survive the breakup?
By shedding a few tears… and a few pounds.


What do you call a crocodile with a taste for fine dining?
A foodie fang.


Why did the crocodile go to the nightclub?
To show off his moves on the dance floor.


What do you call a crocodile with a green thumb?
A plant-based predator.


Why did the crocodile go to the comedy club?
To try out his stand-up routine.


How did the crocodile feel after getting dumped?
Like he’d been hit by a ton of bricks… or a herd of wildebeest.


What do you call a crocodile with a love for classical music?
A Bach-loving beast.


Why did the crocodile go to the art museum?
To appreciate the masterpieces… and plan his next meal.


What do you call a crocodile with a talent for painting?
An artsy aquatic creature.


Why did the crocodile go to the beach?
To soak up the sun and work on his tan lines.


How did the crocodile react when his date didn’t show up?
He had a hissy fit.


What do you call a crocodile with a passion for photography?
A snap-happy scaly shooter.


Why did the crocodile go to the amusement park?
To ride the rollercoaster and scream like a girl.


What do you call a crocodile with a flair for fashion?
A trendy tail-turner.


Why did the crocodile go to the spa?
To get a massage and a manicure.


How did the crocodile feel after winning the lottery?
Like he was on top of the world… or at least the watering hole.


What do you call a crocodile with a love for playing pranks?
A mischievous monster with a smile.

Octopus Jokes for Kids

Kid-approved giggles await! Delight young minds with innocent laughter from our collection of jokes. These jokes promise pure fun for the little ones, ensuring smiles all around.

What do you call an octopus with eight thumbs up?
A-plus student!


Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide!


What do you call a shy octopus?
A tenta-cle introvert!


What do you call an octopus with a bad mood?
A grumpy-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves fashion?
A snazzy dresser!


What do you call an octopus who plays the drums?
A rocktopus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to read?
A bookworm-acle!


What do you call an octopus who’s always happy?
A smiley-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to make jokes?
A punny-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus with a hat?
A fancy cephalopod!


What do you call an octopus who’s really strong?
A super-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who wins the lottery?
A richy-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to travel?
A globetrotting-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who always tells the truth?
An honest-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to help others?
A helpful-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to eat?
A hungry-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to sleep?
A sleepy-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to swim?
A swimmy-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to play games?
A playful-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to write?
An octo-thor!


What do you call an octopus who loves to draw?
An artist-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to code?
A techy-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to cook?
A chef-octo-pus!


What do you call an octopus who loves to be your friend?
A friendly-octo-pus!

Octopus Jokes and Puns

Explore witty wordplay and puns centered on eight-armed pals. Brace for an amusing linguistic journey, each twist and turn bringing comedic delight in every line.

What sea creature can add up numbers?
An octo-plus.


What is an octopus’s favorite item of clothing?
A sock-topus.


What happens when an octopus goes to the restroom?
It’s octo-pied.


What’s a squid’s favourite pudding?
Octo-pie.


What magical sport do octopuses play?
Squidditch.


How did the octopus pay for his newspaper?
With ten nickels.


What do you get if you cross a cat and a squid?
An octopuss.


What is the octopuses favorite shape?
An octagon.


How much did the vet charge to treat the octopus?
Six squid.


What’s an octopus’s favorite month?
October.


What is an octopus’s favorite food?
Ten-tacos.


How does an octopus propose to its sweetheart?
I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.


What’s a baby octopus’s favorite story?
Octo-puss in boots.


Why can’t an octopus commit a crime?
They don’t have a bad bone in their body.


What do octopuses put on their toast?
Ocean current jam.


What is an octopus’s favorite number?
3.14. It’s loved by octo-pi.


What’s an octopus’s favorite toy?
His eight little Legos.


What does an octopus tell its girlfriend?
You octopi my heart.


Did you hear about the octopuses that were in love?
They went about arm in arm in arm in arm.


Why did the giant octopus eat two ships filled with potatoes?
Because you can’t eat just one potato ship.


What did the octopus say when it saw a shark?
Oh, crab.


What do you call an octopus that plays guitar?
A rock-topus.

Final Thoughts

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine, and the world of octopus jokes serves it generously.

Whether you’ve chuckled at the cleanest of jests or indulged in the wittiest wordplay, humor unites us.

Share your favorite octopus jokes, and spread the joy.

As you depart from this humorous haven, take with you the infectious joy of laughter and come back anytime for another round of laughter therapy.

Comment below with your favorite jokes about octopus, keep the laughter alive, and let the tentacles of humor reach far and wide!

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